Off Topic With Ashley

My boy is the cutest. We’re working out the whole relationship thing, and it’s fun. I want to spend every waking second with him, with a fair portion of that being divided up among my friends too. I so wish we all lived closer together though; in a large apartment block in the middle of the city. With a sports field, a park, a bikeway, subway station and a shopping mall right nearby. It’s interesting to think things like that, because I’m pretty sure a lot of my friends would be like caged animals in a scenario like that.

Nonetheless, I just wanted to post to update on what I’m thinking at the moment. I’m not really sure what I’m thinking which is making it difficult, so I’m hoping this will work me out.

We were sort of going through his CD collection tonight, and he picked out his all time favourites. He likes Green Day lots, but the thing that stood out the most is that his favourite CD was my same favourite CD. I’ve got a couple of favourite CDs, but Hot Hot Heat’s “Elevator” is right up there. So he likes HHH lots, and as a music person, picked out a track and started explaining about how he loved the syncopation of the juxtaposition of the composition of the… Something. I couldn’t even remember how the song went.

Another thing that surprises me is how comfortable we are around another. He said the same thing tonight; shortly before getting changed in front of me. I’d do the same, but I’m just not sure if that’s because that’s the kind of person I am or what.

I’m really confused. I adore this boy, but I’m also really scared of it nor working out. I think I found that fatal flaw today, and it’s not even half as fatal as having a tail or something. At the same time, it’s probably equally difficult to deal with. People are so frail.

I really want it to work out, but I’m so scared that this will be like everyone else’s tragic love story, and end with bitter regrets and a ceremonial burning of photos. I can’t see it, but I fear it so much.

In other news Jeremy and Sarah got me a lava lamp as a birthday gift,and it’s a great way of distracting yourself away from real problems that life may have. I’ve included a sample for those who mightn’t have their own.